Friday, January 05, 2007

Phrases That When Used in My Presence Will Get You Punched in the Face

1. "fin de siecle "
2. "I only read nonfiction."
3. (incessant sound of nearby coworker's Japanese-inspired ringtone)*
4. "I'd like to smell the cork first."
5. "Please punch me in the face."
6. "Motherfudger"
7. "I just find his music so....transcendant."
8. "Well, I am a Scorpio, you know."
9. "So anyway, after I finished raping that kid..."
10. "Is this organic?"

*Soon. Soon.

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4 Comments:

At January 06, 2007 11:43 PM, Blogger marie lyn bernard said...

I am so with you on the "I only read non-fiction." Also because that usually leads into a reading list that includes only books about how to be At The Top Of Your Economic Power or like, advice for how to run business meetings.

 
At January 07, 2007 8:37 PM, Blogger shirley said...

Oh my god, why didn't I read this list before I hung out with you this weekend? I could've tried to incur your drunken wrath!

 
At May 18, 2008 3:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you trust that the nurses at the hospital nursary are not piad of agents of the secret government? Fony nurses are part of a plan to switch babies with a clone that had accelereted growth, The parents suspect nothing. Babies with glowing light are taken away to have there souls sucked out. And its getting really bad in Poland and Australia.

 
At November 10, 2008 8:16 PM, Anonymous Bea said...

Interesting to know.

 

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